How to support your dog’s mental health, when you know you’re not the right person to do it.
Navigating through rehoming options and more.
Recognising that your dog is not a good fit for your lifestyle, living situation, and family is an incredibly emotional time to navigate. I recognise that it takes a lot of strength, courage and honesty to come to this point, and always recognise that it is a selfless option to consider. It can also be a very confusing space to navigate, and consider what options are available to you.
First, I recommend considering whether your dog is a good candidate to rehome. There are several behavioural challenges that can be improved, or even resolved in a new living situation. Some include:
Aggression between two familiar dogs in the home.
Fear towards children (if rehoming to a child free home)
A highly active dog whose needs cannot be met in the current home
A dog with health/medicating needs that cannot be met in the current home
A dog who was purchased for a certain intention (eg service/assistance dog) whose personality does not suit the role.
A dog with separation behaviours that may be managed more easily in another living situation.
Ultimately, behavioural problems that have predictable triggers that can be better controlled in a different environment, a new environment could be just the thing that’s needed.
For dogs in these situations, there are several ways to approach rehoming.
List your dog privately. There are many websites where dogs can be advertised. Legal requirements should be followed carefully (eg listing the microchip number)
Contact the breeder you purchased your dog from. Reputable breeders almost always are interested in supporting dogs they have bred. Your breeder may be able to house your dog and help with rehoming.
Contact the rescue you purchased your dog from. Many rescues will have a good understanding of the dog’s needs, and may be able to help with rehoming.
Contact a private rescue. You can find a list of private rescues online - I often recommend looking through PetRescue. You may be able to find a breed specific rescue that will be able to help potential adopters to see your dog. In some cases, you may be able to continue to ‘foster’ your dog until a home has been founded.
Surrender to a shelter. Gone are the days of grim shelters with high euthanasia rates. Shelters often have specific behaviour teams, liaise with rescue groups to organise foster, and may have resources to provide your dog specific support.
Find a kennel to house your dog in the short term. This can give you a mental break and some distance to help you decide what the next steps are for you.
What if I know my dog is not a good candidate for rehoming?
Unfortunately, there are several behavioural conditions that are likely to be exacerbated, or continue despite rehoming. Some include:
Aggression towards people
Aggression towards other dogs
Severe escape behaviours
Severe mental health conditions
Any behavioural condition that has caused significant injury to another person or dog.
Often these behaviours are extremely unpredictable, occur at high levels and escalate quickly. In many cases we may have tried several treatment plans without much success.
While it’s extremely difficult to consider, dogs that are experiencing severe behavioural issues that result in aggression that could harm a person, are not appropriate to rehome. The safety of other people, the community, and importantly the individual dog needs to be held to a high standard. When dogs are suffering from extreme, intractable mental health disorders, we can draw parallels with terminal medical illness such as cancer or liver failure. While the behaviour may be managed, it will not be cured. For this reason, behavioural euthanasia is something that needs to be discussed. I consider behavioural euthanasia to be true relieving of suffering in dogs who are extremely unwell, rather than an ‘easy’ way out.
When saying goodbye might be the next step in your dog’s behavioural journey.
How to navigate the difficulties around behavioural euthanasia.
What if I know my dog is not a good candidate for rehoming?
Unfortunately, there are several behavioural conditions that are likely to be exacerbated, or continue despite rehoming. Some include:
Aggression towards people
Aggression towards other dogs
Severe escape behaviours
Severe mental health conditions
Any behavioural condition that has caused significant injury to another person or dog.
Often these behaviours are extremely unpredictable, occur at high levels and escalate quickly. In many cases we may have tried several treatment plans without much success.
While it’s extremely difficult to consider, dogs that are experiencing severe behavioural issues that result in aggression that could harm a person, are not appropriate to rehome. The safety of other people, the community, and importantly the individual dog needs to be held to a high standard. When dogs are suffering from extreme, intractable mental health disorders, we can draw parallels with terminal medical illness such as cancer or liver failure. While the behaviour may be managed, it will not be cured. For this reason, behavioural euthanasia is something that needs to be discussed. I consider behavioural euthanasia to be true relieving of suffering in dogs who are extremely unwell, rather than an ‘easy’ way out.
What does behavioural euthanasia physically look like?
When we recognise that euthanasia is the relief of suffering, it’s important to me that the whole process is as smooth as possible. Picking your vet or location is the first step. Some people may prefer to have the euthanasia performed at home - for others their trusted vet clinic may be the right place. If you’re concerned staff might not understand why you’re making this decision, it could be helpful to email or call ahead to explain your situation. When all other treatment avenues have been explored, euthanasia is a fair and kind option for dogs who are suffering.
On the day of the euthanasia, the vet may ask you to give some medications before your dog’s visit, to help calm them. It’s fine to feed whatever treats you like before the visit - hamburgers, chocolate - today’s your dog’s special treat day. When I am working with dogs that require behavioural euthanasia, It’s essential to me to minimise any distress. I first administer a calming injection that allows your dog to fall asleep with just you present - this usually takes around 5-10 minutes to have an effect. Once your dog is calm and relaxed, we place a small intravenous cannula into the wrist. Through this cannula, we then give an anaesthetic which causes the dog to completely fall asleep. This injection may only take 1-2 minutes to work.
Once this is administered, the heart slows down, and the dog passes away peacefully. It’s helpful to recognise that not all dogs will shut their eyes when they are gone. Some dogs may have some movement in the chest as the body slows down, and others may go to the toilet. All these things are normal parts of the process.
What do I do after behavioural euthanasia?
The first thing you’ll need to decide is how you’d like to celebrate your dog’s life. For some people, this might mean having their dog cremated, and the ashes returned to them. Some people might scatter them in a special place, keep them in a beautiful box at home, or others might plant them with a flower or tree. For other people, once their pet is gone, they remember them in ways that don’t require anything physical - and in those circumstances your vet clinic might discuss the option of cremation without the ashes being returned. In some circumstances, people may wish to take their pets home to bury.
How do I manage after such a difficult time?
Other people may not understand the severity of what’s going on. For some people who don't have a pet, they may not understand that losing a pet emotionally affects us the same way that losing a family member does.
You might find it helpful to explain that your dog was suffering mentally and was in pain.
Lots of people will benefit from talking with someone experienced about what’s going on. There are increasing numbers of pet grief counselors that will be able to help you to navigate this challenging time. There is also a facebook group called Losing Lulu which is a support group for behavioural euthanasia.
I want to get another dog when I’m ready, but I’m scared of this happening again
It’s completely reasonable for people to be worried about getting another dog in the future. Ultimately, while there are no guarantees, we can work together to try to give any future dogs you may have the best shot at great mental health and behaviour. In a puppy planning consultation, we can go through some ideas of how to search for the right dog or breed, things to look for in a breeder, how to assess individual puppies, and a development plan. If the time is right, reach out.